


Warmth

by Shay_Nioum



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Deceit just wants a hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Platonic DLAMP - Freeform, Will he get said hug?, the answer is yes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 07:36:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17638544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Nioum/pseuds/Shay_Nioum
Summary: There's only one thing that Deceit wants, more than anything else in this world. Whether or not he gets it isn't the question, but rather... Would they be willing to give it to him?





	Warmth

Watching them all Deceit couldn’t help but to shift nervously as he stood there peering around the pillar of the stairs, he couldn’t help but to feel slightly envious of how Patton’s smile lit up his face without a care in the world, or how the firm lines on Logan’s face softened just slightly, how Roman’s joyous laugh rang throughout the room, and most of all he couldn’t help but to feel more than a little envious of the ting of pink that had dusted itself over Virgil’s cheeks. His arms curled around himself, mimicking just how the others were holding each other, how Roman’s arms wrapped around them all, and just how even Logan allowed himself to be swept up into the hug. It was a hard bitter truth to swallow, but...he wanted that. 

He wanted to be hugged and to be held like he mattered too, he wanted…

“Warmth,” The whisper had just barely left his lips before Deceit found himself shrinking out of the light of the living room. His fingers itched to sink into the smooth silky fabric of Roman’s shirt, to feel the warmth of Patton’s arms around him, to feel the strength and determination behind Logan’s hold, and..and the familiarity with Virgil once again. He wanted it, he wanted it more than he had ever wanted anything in his entire life. 

But…

_ But I’m alone.  _ The thoughts sent a wave of sadness and loneliness echoing through his chest, and the familiar pang of solitude against his heart did very little to ease the sting of those internal words.  _ I am alone, there is no chance that they would ever allow me to encroach in their relationship. I am an outsider, I am… a stranger to them.  _

It hurt, it surely did hurt, but that didn’t make it any less true. He was a dark side, as Roman was so fond of calling them, a trait that Thomas had repressed for the longest time..and for good reason. He was bad, he wasn’t good, he was...dark. 

But wasn’t Virgil dark at one point too? They had learned to accept that dark trait among them, so surely.. It had certainly taken a while, but with Virgil, they had learned to not judge a book by its cover, maybe if they had learned...maybe...

_ Maybe they can accept me as well, maybe I don’t have to be alone. Maybe… _

Hope wasn’t something he was acutely aware of, and it wasn’t something that he dabbled in all too often. After all, having hope too often had led to his feelings being crushed one too many times, it was so much easier to just lie and avoid it all. Avoid how it had hurt him, and to avoid just how it had crushed his spirit to fine dust. But that didn’t stop it from flickering to life in his chest, like a weak spark with barely enough kindle to light a flame, let alone an entire fire. 

The words cycled around in his mind, calling him forward, acting as liquid courage that rushed into his veins urging and pushing him forward. Making him take the first step.  _ Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps! _

His mouth had never felt more dry than it did in that very moment, and time had never moved more slowly than when he had taken those first steps forward towards the other sides. Hope burned brightly in his chest, with the weight of a solid cement block resting on his ribcage. It was equal parts terrifying, just as it was equal parts exhilarating for him. Deceit couldn’t stop the shy smile that tugged at the corner of his mismatched lips, just as he couldn’t stop his hands from nervously reaching out. The warmth was so close, comfort was so close. He had to do this, he could do this, if he just-

“What are you  _ doing _ ?” 

Everything came to a screeching halt, and for a solid minute, Deceit felt his lungs stop functioning entirely as he held his breath. Roman had lifted his head up from where his cheek was resting atop Patton’s soft curly looking locks to shoot Deceit a suspicious stare, a whimper bubbled up and died in the dishonest side’s throat at the look that held so much doubt and mistrust. He was so very close, so close to being held between all of them. Of course, he was a fool to think that they would ever let him join them, he was too dark, much darker than Virgil ever was. He was evil, of course, he was the villain in their little games. They’d already had one misguided anti-hero, and Deceit could never be a second, he was stuck being just that. 

A villain never to be redeemed. 

It took only a second for his shoulders to stiffen and the air to rush back into his lungs, before his lips twitched and curled into a half-hearted sneer of contempt. “Nothing,” He hissed darkly, his eyes burned as he hastily blinked and shuffled back. “Absolutely  nothing!” 

Now there was only escape, before he could make an even bigger fool of himself in front of the others. No use in giving them even more ammunition. 

The bottoms of his feet grazed the carpet as he stepped back, Deceit’s fingers seized the fabric of his cloak as he for just a split second imagined it to be the others. Sinking his fingers into the fabric of those who would care and love him, of those who he’d love right back long after the very day that they could no longer stand the sight of him. Under his bright yellow gloves, his knuckles turned white as his breathing hitched. Of course he would imagine it, and of course, it hurt more than anything else. Of course, he would ache for the very things that he could not have.

Both he and Envy had so much in common now in this very moment, than anything that they had ever shared in their entire life. 

Warm fingers curled around Deceit’s wrist, and once again everything seemed to come to a sudden halt as those fingers held him tightly in place. Not even allowing him to move a single inch from where he stood. Staring back, the dishonest side couldn’t suppress the aching laugh that bubbled up past his lips as he stared into the creative side’s wonderfully worried face. The laugh lines around deep brown eyes that turned into serious concerned creases deep enough to rival Logan’s, made something in Deceit’s chest ache as if he had just been impaled upon Roman’s sword. Not that he minded all that much, the pain both in his chest and in those eyes was enough proof for him. 

“I didn’t say that you had to leave,” Guilt coursed through the creative side as Roman began to speak after his teeth tugged at his bottom lip, worrying the already worried lip before a tiny smile tugged at his lips. “You obviously came over here for something, and I’m not much of a fairy godmother but...how about a hug?” Releasing his iron-tight grip on Deceit’s wrist, Roman gave a nudge to the others prompting them into action more than anything else as he opened his arms. And looking back at the snake-faced dishonest side, the last thing he was honestly expecting was to see a waterfall of tears rush down the other’s cheeks. 

And for a split second panic welled in his chest, just as it did for all of the others as Deceit hastily wiped the tears away with the back of his hand. They all waited with bated breath, just to see what was wrong and if he would even allow them to help. 

It took far too long for Deceit to clear the messy tears from his face as he sniffled, but looking back at the others he could see only pure honesty reflected in their eyes and on their faces. His answer was rather simple when it all came down to it, “Oh god yes!” He choked out, as a fresh wave of tears passed over him. And without even giving it a second thought, he threw himself into their collective arms pushing down yet another sob as the warmth curled around him. 

He felt safe, no..he felt more than safe right now. 

He felt like he was home. 


End file.
